things I claim I can't wait for my toddler to grow out of but really I'll totally miss them....

Any guesses as to when I can stop carrying my kid straight upstairs and depositing him into the tub on red sauce meal nights?

Also, when do they learn volume control?  I'd like to know there's a lighter shade of bloodied gauze for my eardrums in the near future. If it's not in sight, I may just rip them out myself to finish the job.